Life is too radical to be wasted around those who can’t see it

27/12/2009 § Leave a comment

Sometimes life is too good that it feels like  theres sex happening inside me. Like people are really doing it to eachother good and proper inside my guts, and its all i can do to not run on the spot, jump in the air and say thankyou!
Thankyou for love, thankyou for friendship, thankyou for Izrael’s drunken phone calls and roses late night chats. Thankyou for Gemmas wonderful madness, thankyou for patience, thankyou for conversations with wise, intelligent people. Thankyou for intelligence in general! Thankyou for sunshine, thankyou for the breeze and the tree’s and the warm night time air. Thankyou for putting me right were I am.


how our minds work…

27/12/2009 § 1 Comment

I often wonder if madness comes from thinking too many bad thoughts too often. If a man thinks about killing another man for too long, does it drive him to madnessm or worse yet, to actually kill in cold blood. If a man thinks too passionately about something, does the passion overthrow his senses and drive him to insanity. Is it at all possible for madness to be triggered solely by thought, by too many loose ends when it comes to what you truly allow yourself to think about.

Through the years ive seen people come and go, say hello and then goodbye…some of them seemed as normal as could be. Some of them spoke of shining white fences around their glorious three bedroom homes that contained their wives and perfect children. I would always wonder what drove those men to murder. It surely wasn’t stress, their lives as they explained them often reeked of golden opportunity and fulfilment. It can’t have been a need for more, because alot of these men had everything a person could ever wish for. Would a man with eight cars kill another man for a ninth?

Among the seemingly normal men walked men who’s eyes were as vacant as a black hallway with plain, paintless walls. Their voices would reach numerous tones and levels in sentences that needed only one. Men that would cry for a minute before laughing at their own misfortunes, misfortunes that they apparently had forgotten.

It was these souls that drifted past me that made me wonder about the definiing moment of madness. It was these men, corrupt, perverse, insane, that made me question the very base of what the human brain is taught. To become crazy because you thought about becoming crazy for too long.

Is it too far fetched? If you can sit for a while, and imagine an itch at the very bottom of your back, eventually you’ll be unable to keep from scratching it.. It will appear because you think it will. If you think hard enough about crying, thoughts that sadden you will run through your mind and a tear will fall. It will fall because you thought it would. Ultimately you made it.

If a man thinks about killing another for long enough, he eventually will…and if a man thinks about the depths of madness for long enough one day he will go insane. Its just the way the mind works right??

a different kind of morning.

21/12/2009 § Leave a comment

 The time for light is now, but its midnight, and this is all too much. I can’t breathe. He’s  just sucked the life out of me, and here I am, curling up in smoke, and we only just met.

a different kind of midnight.

21/12/2009 § Leave a comment

As if he thought I could take it all within myself, and still believe in love. I did for a long time, and I ripped myself apart doing it. So my body sits tonight, this morning, headless but in paradise, as if it cannot recognise where it is, stuck between the walls of new and old, and I cant decide if I want to be alone or not.

21/12/2009 § Leave a comment


My own emotions have never been so confusing. Like an ache that transcends all words and even the softest of touches. You have left a whole in my heart, one only you can replace. And its not as easy as it seems, you hurt me good, right down to the bone. How do you suppose a wound like that heals?

21/12/2009 § Leave a comment

a guy should only rip your underwear off and bang the crap out of you roughly on the stairs because he just loves you so damn much.!!!

18/12/2009 § Leave a comment

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